Old what? you ask...old 'me'. I wondered today if it's time for some of my old habits to be combined with the new. Those words scare me a little. The old me was stressed, intense, obsessive, confused, and nervous to name a few. But there were a few good things as well! LOL
But is it possible to combine the BEST of the old and the new? I really don't know. I like to believe it is but then I'm trying to be perfect and that is far from the new me. There are some things I do miss besides the silly health thing ;-). My drive to get things done, my love of planning, teaching, and organizing. Is there a way to do these things without being obsessed and stressed out? I'm not sure, its the only way I know how to do them.
I think I have to figure out my priorities and decide if there is time in my life for my current life to be combined with the old. If I have the energy too. I don't like sitting on the fence about things, I like to decide on something move forward and just get it done but my body tells me other things right now. I can only do little bites at a time and my brain is definitely not in a fully functioning mode. OK, I agree its a question if it ever was.
A big challenge is something I will always LOVE but I've resigned myself to let that go for awhile. The challenges seem small these days...trying not to feel like I'm going to puke, managing the numbness in my hands and feet, eating only whole food, making sure I appreciate the things my hubby does for me and forcing myself to take more power naps than I ever have in my life.
In the next couple weeks I will have a break from a chemo session. This may mess with my mind tremendously. I am anticipating that my energy will return, brain fog will clear even more and both those in combination can be a dangerous thing. I could get into some trouble. LOL. Ray's eyes may roll a few times before the mid January chemo session arrives.
So for now I'm just thinking. Thinking about how to have the best of both worlds, the old and the new. We all want that don't we? Its just trying to decide which 'one's are worth trying to introduce again and which 'one's I should forever lock away in pictures of the old me. I'm wondering what the end resulting 'one' will be and I'm sure my hubby is scared as well! LOL
signed 'one' in limbo purple ladybug
There's a lot of the 'old' you that we love. It's that pesky thing called balance that we all seem to have trouble with, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteWhatever 'you' appears through all of this, ever changing as it might be, we will love you all the same! Dad will roll his eyes, you and I will get excited and carried away, and yes, good things *will* happen. Dream away, just so long as you don't get a boar... :P
I don't think I've seen that beach picture before. It looks like something belongs in a frame: I love it! :)
You are creating a Hybrid of yourself. The best qualities of the old & new.
ReplyDeleteSomeone I respect told me, not long ago, "The temptation is to make decisions when none are needed" This may apply here, relax, enjoy the season and all that comes with it, you will know what is "right" in time. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteCindy - did you notice the suntan tube flying through the photo.
ReplyDeleteI think BIG brothers are very smart! thx
ReplyDeleteIf you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
ReplyDeleteWise words for the wisest of women (hey, that's YOU!). I know you adore Mary Engelbreit as I do...
Love you, Mom!
Crystal
WOW that's sunblock?? LOL!! Ok so do tell the story behind that one! The picture within the picture...
ReplyDeleteLove Cindy