Today being Remembrance Day in Canada makes me think of the 'one' tear that fell from the mother, sister, daughter and wife of many unforgotten fallen soldiers. That 'one' tear leads to so much more. Usually 'one' tear leads to more and more tears lead to gasping for air and then gasping for air leads to a sense of release.
Sometimes we are afraid if we let that 'one' tear release we won't be able to stop, we will loose control, we will feel a depth of pain we don't want to feel. But a single tear can lead to so much more...
a beginning. A beginning of letting the world in. Allowing yourself to feel is NOT a bad thing, its just scary. To slow down and actually feel the pain that comes into our lives can actually help us more forward. Forward to new reasons for that 'one' new tear but if we don't actually start with that 'one' tear we are stuck. Stuck in a prison of emotions on the edge, on the edge of breaking down. We stifle the feelings and feel at times like we are going to burst and fear a loss of control when we release that 'one' tear for whatever reason.
I tried many times in the hospital to have my 'one' tear moment. It seemed like every time the tears began to finally flow and I was able to begin the process of stepping through the shock and pain of getting cancer I was interrupted. Now I'm talking numerous times. I had to immediately stop my tears and emotions. After doing that so many times it took coming home and many days afterward to finally release the tears I needed to. Once I did that there was a sense of beginning, a sense that I can now move forward that I was no longer stuck and stuffing my emotions down. And I promise I didn't go crazy...besides I already am! :o)I wish for me and you the chance to let go of that 'one' tear when we need to. Not when it is convenient but when our heart needs to. Listening to our heart will lead us down the right path, usually its the hardest path, but the right path. Believe me...its ok to let that 'one' tear go, yep its ok, I promise!
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