Day 465 - 'one' frosty morning

Yep the frosty mornings have arrived.  That thin white coating of fuzz on the tops of the trees and neighbours rooftops as well.  I must go get the last of my lavender soon and get it planted in its new home before frost finds itself in the warm earth...

I haven't pulled out any of my projects yet, yesterday I wanted to concentrate on eating well and staying stress free.  My Tai Chi exercises are in my daily routine but Qigong I have yet to learn a set of exercises.

Things are still very unsettled in my world.  Eating is becoming quite a chore.  I force myself to eat little bowls of fruit, some cereals and then soup once and awhile.  I will have to resort to steroids if things don't get better soon, I've lost another 5 pounds. Vomiting seems to be a daily occurrence as well, woohoo!

My home seems to have become my refuge.  I feel like the walls are filled with good memories and I surround myself with all the positive stuff I can.  Going out is becoming quite a chore in that I don't know when my stomach will react or the vomiting will rear it's ugly head.  Ray takes me for short shopping trips and I think this week we will do some cruisin' in his car. I am working on what I need to do to make going out less stressful, large baggies are the first solution that has worked well for my vomiting and now for the other end...ewwww too much information?

When I went to have my port flushed last week it was actually easy physically but harder psychologically than I thought.  Not until a few hours later when Ray and I were having lunch did we talk about how it felt to have it done.  Both of us felt like we were getting a chemotherapy treatment again.  We both thought of all the hours, days and the toll that it took on my body, our lives and everything in between.  The hours of sitting there hoping that it will be completed faster than the last time.  The walk out of the clinic where you wonder what the side effects will be this time.  So many thoughts run through your head as you complete a session, too many thoughts...

So as the beautiful sun peaks from behind the clouds I make a plan for my day.  Exercises, eating more food during the day, trying to find a crochet project to get me motivated and to get my brain focused on other things, taking care of my Dudley and perhaps sucking up all the wonderful fall leaves decided to visit me inside instead of staying outside in the frosty morning air.  And the mystery of life continues...what plans do you have for your day?

signed 'one' mellow purple ladybug