Day 433 - 'one' new curve in the road

Look who decided to show up...the OLD me!

is what we've found.  Our visit to my oncologist went well.  Some people wouldn't say that but we do. We were unsure how everything would go but I needed to talk to her about how I've been feeling the last few weeks and to discuss the upcoming treatment on Monday.  

One thing I knew for sure was that if I went to the upcoming treatment as scheduled that I would end up in the hospital and they love to keep you there once they get you! LOL  Staying in the hospital for awhile was not something I wanted to do, I would rather be at home...
  

My dr. actually saw me walking in with cane and all and she knew that she was going to have 'THAT' conversation with me. The one that she had talked about many times in previous appointments.  You know, the conversation about whether the chemo is hurting or helping.   

We talked about the last CT scan and what was in the written report.  At the last appointment she didn't have it yet.  The written report said the tumours had doubled in size and there appears to be new ones in other parts of my body, woohoo! 

At the beginning of our chemo journey we had also discussed when we would know it's time to stop treatments and the two criteria were...1) If the chemo treatments were no longer working and 2) If the treatments were hurting me more than they were helping.  Well we answered 'YES' to both these questions so to make that decision was not hard at all.  It was decided that we will stop chemo treatments and move forward by taking life one-day-at-a-time.

Oddly enough at first Ray and I were sad but leaving the office we both starting feeling this great sense of relief.  It's been so hard for Ray to watch me go through the treatments and my body was definitely telling me that it was time to stop.  It's time to let my body gain some strength and it was time to relax and enjoy life.  As it was the last month it has pretty hard on both myself and my family.

Am I giving up...of course not.  Am I taking a new road...yes, I am.  Will I get better...that's what we are all hoping for.  But it's time to enjoy life, relax, feel normal again and just keep moving, moving, moving.

So that's the plan as it stands.  My goal over the next week is to gain strength by getting lots of rest and to concentrate on getting my appetite back.  The week after that we will start to determine if there are other things I would like to try but for this week I won't worry about that.  I will just concentrate on pushing the 'on' power, 'on' energy buttons and the rest will happen as it should.

PS..And for those nay sayers that have the nerve to tell me 'I told you so', I know that I would NOT be right here, right now if it wasn't for the treatments I have taken over the last year. 

So now a new journey begins. 

signed 'one' putting the pedal to the metal purple ladybug