Day 435 - 'one' roller coaster ride awaits

My morning tea hangout.  I especially like the rocker.
Of course no surprise, I am a granny you know.

There are many days that I just start typing this blog without even knowing what I have to say.  Today is 'one' of those days.  I feel my head getting clearer every day but to be realistic I would feel the same even if I was having my chemo treatment Monday because I'm not into the zone of being away from chemo more days than normal...
   Not until a couple more weeks have passed will I really know the difference of having chemo or not.

I really didn't realize how much the treatments and fighting this disease effects the psychological side of my brain.  And how much having such a schedule for a year can weigh so heavy on your feelings and outlook on life.  Nineteen treatments later I wonder if my body will be able to recover.

I've been a good girl the last few days.  Not pushing myself too much and reminding myself multiple times a day that this week is for just relaxing and re-charging my body.  Being able to cook again is great and actually being able to take some responsibilities off my hubby's shoulders has started me thinking about all the things I will be able to do again soon. 

My new freaky garden ladybugz.

I'm trying not to plan too much in the future but when Tuesday does roll around some major planning will be started.  The plan to attack my disease with everything I have in my power will surely be eventful and being in control always seems to help...LOL

So each day I feel better, each day I think about 'time' and what I want to do with it, each day I learn to have patience with myself and my body and each day promises to be filled with choices and new challenges for us to endure. 

Do I wonder if we made the right decision? Nope, I know we made the right decision.  Do I wonder if the decisions in our future will be the right ones, well I sure hope so.  But with each decision I make I will give it a 110% commitment to do the best I can and I will keep my brain engaged to learn to do new things, new ways. 

Things are shaping up. The power washing
to remove the 'green' from the patio has
already started. I can't seem to keep up
taking enough pictures with how fast
things are changing in the back yard.

Decisions are a funny thing...when you make them sometimes you know immediately it was the right one to make but usually we question it every step of the way.  I suggest that when you do make a decision that you give it everything you've got because for some reason that decision was right for you at that moment and unless you give it everything you've got you will never know if you gave up too soon or never really wanted it anyways. 

Believe me when the decisions that you make actually effect your existence on this earth, you make sure that you give it everything you've got and then some.  So hang on...here we go again on Vicki's roller coaster ride and who knows where I end up!  Just be sure to hang on! tightly! and laughing all the way will surely help!

signed 'one' purple ladybug waiting for the roller coaster ride to begin.