Day 261 - 'one' wrong century

Actually I'm think'n two wrong centuries.  Yep that's me...I'm a 19th century woman living in a 21st century world and man it ain't easy.

I like doing everything myself.  I don't care to go and get my nails done, banging them with a hammer takes care of them just fine ;-)...
  I am not a slave to the mirror.  I like to make my own clothes. I enjoy treasure hunt'n at thrift shops more than going to the mall, can't remember the last time I was in a mall...maybe Christmas?  I like wearing dresses best and at home I wear moomoo's.  I enjoy walking more than drive'n.  I like to know what's in my food.  I like to grow my own food, even though I'm not good at it.  I prefer a hammer in my hand over the blow dryer.  I'd rather listen to music than watch the TV.  I try to make gifts more than buy them.  I take unused items and turn them into something that is useful.  I believe a smile is worth more than all the dollars I have in my pocket. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of them right now.

I'm not saying that living in the 21st century isn't great but I'm realizing that most of my life I haven't really 'fit' into what the norm is.  And then there's the years I thought I should try and fit and I was just a 'COW' to say it mildly. 

So recognizing that I really don't fit makes me feel OK with who I am.  I couldn't say that a few years ago.  It's ok with me that my brain leans more to building than cleaning.  I can accept myself for who I am it's the outside world that has the issues.  They ask me often...'why do you do that?'  all you need to do is this and you will look a lot better or things would be easier.  But it's really not about making things easier, it's about enjoying my life and above all knowing who I am and being comfortable with that.  It may have taken 50+ years and the almighty 'c' to get me to accept who I am but by george[now there's an old people word] it's better late than never.

I took my last chemo pill for this round this AM.  In one week I start round '10' of chemo.  Wohhhh double digits! There are many things I missed during these last few months, the hardest is the time between when I can see the grandkids as they grow sooooo  fast and colds and flu are running rampant this time of year! Of course I can never see them enough! But I've gained a lot of knowledge, a lot of comfort in who I am, as you can see, and perhaps a new clarity of what matters and what doesn't. 

My advice, don't wait until your health tells you what you need to do...let your heart guide your day and not the magazines, TV and other people's expectations.  Try to think a little out of the '21st century's' external focused norm and spend some time and energy on your inside needs. What's going on in your heart today?

signed 'one' 19th century purple ladybug and proud of it! 

PS.  I think that the chemo has effected my vocabulary even more than I thought.  ain't, don't, won't and never in the right places! LOL