Day 404 - 'one' way of looking at it

Working on the screen printing
stencil for the tshirts

It's been a busy day of running around getting groceries, stuff for our camping trip and listening to the voices inside my head.  I started my day very early and needed to get something said that was bothering me since I went to bed the night before.  I needed to apologize for something I said.  I needed to take responsibility for my actions and be the person that I want to be...
 

Apologies are very interesting.  I can honestly say that I apologize for the things I do and say at least once or more a day.  I hear anger in my voice when I talk to my hubby that after the fact breaks my heart.  I see resentment in my actions and holding onto resentment helps no one especially me.  I think it's taken me many years to learn the power of an apology and some individuals can do it easily and honestly some people I know think that apologizing means admitting you were wrong and I wonder why that is that such a bad thing.

The only way to move forward and learn life's lessons is to admit that we are all human and make mistakes.  Trying to deny that you could ever be wrong keeps you stuck.  Stuck so you can never let go of the constant brain talk that goes on and that powerful anger you feel within yourself  and you just don't know what to do with it.  You can't stop thinking about it and it eventually eats away every sense of happiness that you might feel inside and your ability to care for others and openly show it. 

When life puts you in a situation as mine has, apologizing is very minor.  I will continue to apologize for the things that I say and do that might hurt the people I care about and know that my brain will stay focused on the tasks of the day that continue to move me forward to become the person I want to be.

Lists, lists, and more lists.

As Steven Jobs said at a graduation ceremony many years ago...

"Look in the mirror everyday and ask, “if today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am doing today?” If the answer is no for many days in a row, you need to change something. Remembering you are going to die is the most important tool to make big decisions in life, everything falls away in the face of death. External expectations, pride, fear of embarrassment or failure are all things that don’t matter in the big picture. Remembering you are going to die is the best way to remember you have nothing to lose. “You are already naked, you have nothing to lose by following you heart.”

In relativity, death is the best invention of life. It’s life change agent, it clears out the old and brings in the new. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life, don’t let the noise of others opinion drown your inner voice.  Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they truly know what you want to become, everything else is secondary."

Shop, shop, shop

Today I went out for the first time in public with my cane. I wanted to see if my energy level would stay strong even after running errands for a few hours.  Oh my goodness did it ever work.  I was really funny though.  It's like when you get a new car and all of a sudden you see 'that' model of car everywhere, I was out in public and suddenly noticed all the people using canes and walkers.  It made me smile at each person I saw.  It made me giggle thinking that I thought I would look out of place and people would treat me differently and I can honestly say it was sooooo refreshing to see people reaching out to help me and others being so considerate about not knocking into me.  Another day of learning for me. 

Ahhh what will tomorrow bring? More lessons, an apology or two, a day filled with creativity and perhaps a day where I think about the decisions that will need to be made in a weeks time at my next Dr. appointment.  But I can't change what will happen in a week so I will concentrate on what is the fun I will have in the near future.  I hope tomorrow that you apologize to the ones you need to and keep that wonderful heart of yours open to learn life's lessons.  Being wrong...not a big deal at all.

signed 'one' purple ladybug that looks in the mirror each morning and...